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I wrote a short sketch that I put up over here, but I will also post it below. Hopefully the html doesn't get too screwy on your browser.

Title: Battle Wagon

Author: Owen McManus

Draft date: 04/01/2019

INT. SMOKEY ROOM. A ROUND TABLE SITS UNDER THE SINGLE POOL OF LIGHT IN THE ROOM. A PILE OF MAPS AND BLUEPRINTS LAY STREWN IN THE CENTER. THERE IS A GROUP OF GRIM LOOKING MEN AND WOMEN POSITIONED AROUND THE TABLE ON WOOD AND METAL STACKING CHAIRS.

SARGE

You know why I called you here. Ya'll are the meanest bunch of miscreants that I have ever had the misfortune to come across, and it pains me to say that this, but your country needs you.

BILLSON

Again.

Billson chomps a half finished cigar and tips the chair back .

SARGE

Yes Billson. Again. Now I'm not going to beat around the bush. This mission is dangerous. Some of you might not be coming home. There won't be any state funerals for those who don't, and there won't be any medals for those that do.

CARLILE

We already ghosts, ain't we. Don't bother me none.

Nodding and grunts of acknowledgement from around the table.

SARGE

Okay, okay. Before we get to the briefing, I do have one issue I would like addressed.

BILLSON

Sarge, you're really going to question me and my team. After Tokyo, after Berlin, after Montreal?

SARGE

Now I know that your team has a solid track record with these kinds of Ops. I know that you will do what needs doing to get the job done. That's not the problem. I just have one question.

ZHANG

(clearly annoyed)

Spit it out.

SARGE

Where is the battle wagon.

Team shoot confused looks at each other.

Billson raises a hand to settle the team down.

BILLSON

The what?

SARGE

The battle wagon.

Team continues to look confused. They have no idea what the sergeant is talking about.

SARGE

In Zaragosa. The van you welded armor panels and machineguns to and used to break into the arms dealers fortress.

ZHANG

Oh, the Steel Zephyr. He's talking about the Steel Zephyr. Yeah. Had to ditch it in the Ebro.

SARGE

Okay, so why is it in the river?

CARLILE

Had tae douse it to deactivate the Super C-4 strapped to the bottom, didn't we.

TIMMINS

(points a mocking thumb at Sarge)

Sounds like he never had to drown some Super C-4. I suppose that's why you hire the experts.

SARGE

Alright. Fair enough. Bottom of the Ebro. So where's the one you built out of a train engine in Dhaka.

ZHANG

The Light Rail Ravager! Oh, I miss her. Really packed a punch and extra roof space for the missile racks.

SARGE

And where is it? In the river?

BILLSON

Lake.

Sarge shakes his head for a moment.

SARGE

Do you folks see my problem.

BILLSON

Not really Sarge. Speak plain and we'll see what we can do for you.

SARGE

How many missions did you run for us last year?

BILLSON

Timmins?

TIMMINS

17 Boss. If you count the Federico twins as 2.

SARGE

Sure. 17. And how many battle wagons did you build?

Timmins considers for a moment.

TIMMINS

Including the Steel Zephyr?

SARGE

Yes. All the battle wagons.

ZHANG

Can we stop calling them battle wagons. They got names.

SARGE

Fine. How many.

TIMMINS

18

SARGE

You didn't even run that many missions.

ZHANG

Built two in Daegu. Carlile had his own.

CARLILE

Only 'cause Timmins said I had the Kimchi farts and I didnea.

SARGE

You built a battle-

Zhang pulls a sour look.

SARGE

Okay, okay. I don't care why. Do any of you know what one of those monstrosities costs?

CARLILE

Well we don't buy 'em. We build 'em, don't we.

SARGE

I buy them. I pay for them. Every time I hire you for a mission I pay the expenses. Armor plating, cannon shells, caltrops, arc welders. I have to bury all your battle wagons in secret budgets and military slush funds. By the way, why do you need a new arc welder every time? Why don't you use the old one?

BILLSON

I think we are all missing the bigger picture here. We ran 18 Ops-

TIMMINS

17.

BILLSON

17 Ops. Every single one of them a resounding success.

SARGE

In Tampa you drove a Russian fighter jet through a mall.

TIMMINS

You sent us that jet.

SARGE

Yes. Because I thought you were going to fly it. You turned it into a tank!

BILLSON

We saved the world from Moloch and his global terrorists.

SARGE

Where is it now?

TIMMINS

The mall?

SARGE

The battle wagon! Where is it now.

ZHANG

The Suffering Butterfly.

SARGE

What?

ZHANG

That's her name. The Suffering Butterfly.

SARGE

I don't care! Where is it?

ZHANG

In the bay. I couldn't let Moloch get her.

SARGE

Could you have used the battle wagon from Tokyo to stop Moloch?

The team is confused again.

CARLILE

She's in the bay, isn't she.

SARGE

If she wasn't in the bay. Imagine just once that you reused a battle wagon. Again. On the next mission. Could you have used that battle wagon to stop Moloch.

BILLSON

(bewildered by the idea of it)

I mean, it's possible, but how would we even have gotten it out of the water?

SARGE

It was a hovercraft! I don't even know how you sank it.

CARLILE

Weren't easy. We're very good at our jobs.

SARGE

Alright, alright. The current mission is time critical. We only have 24 hours to get you in and get those hostages out. We can talk about this more when you get back.

(Sarge shuffles through some maps and pulls one to the top)

We have possible entry and extraction points here and here. Known tangos are here, here, and here.

BILLSON

(leaning back in the chair again)

No need Sarge. Me and the team already worked out the plan on the way over here. All we need from you is an attack helicopter and the biggest set of tractor tires you can find.